A Lawnmower Lamentation

A couple of weeks ago I decided I needed to cut the grass before the next rainstorm, which was forecast to arrive in a couple of days. Cutting the grass here is a big production. We have a huge lawn.

Because we’ve been getting a lot of rain and an overnight heavy marine layer, I had to wait to cut the grass until the afternoons. This meant that cutting the grass was going to take two days on the riding lawnmower. Otherwise, cutting the grass around here takes one full day.

I really don’t mind cutting the grass. It’s a rather stress-free experience with one little exception. Our driveway is rather long, and in one area, it is elevated on one side above the surrounding terrain. As the fence to one of the pastures is only maybe 5 feet away in this area, you have to run the mower parallel with the driveway, and I feel like the mower is about to tip and roll over with me on it.1

As I was cutting around the bee hives, I was going slowly so as not to disturb the bees or accidentally bump their hives. Unexpectedly I ran over something that came flying out from the lawnmower in pieces, strange-looking pieces that made no sense to me in that startled moment. What in the world was this?!

I hadn’t seen anything in front of me, and, as mentioned, I was going slowly and carefully. Yet, to the side of the mower was a peculiar pile of “stuff.” I finished the area and then went to inspect the mangled mess ejected by the mower.

Up close, I immediately recognized it – an absolute tragedy!

I was wearing my sunglasses, which means I had my regular glasses in my sunglasses case that I stuffed into my side coat pocket. Apparently, after mowing for several hours, that case fell out of my coat pocket to the ground and were instantly run over by the mower beneath me.

The mangled mess that was before me was what remained of the leather case, a microfiber cleaning cloth, and a single lens from my glasses. Nothing else could be found.

I collected the dead debris on the driveway.

These were my Oliver People’s frames I had purchased in West Hollywood when we lived in Manhattan Beach back in 2011. I loved these frames. In fact, I had them refitted with my newest pair of lens from my eye exam when we moved to the Pacific Northwest. This was tragic!

My New Glasses
One of my favorite glasses frames. RIP

These poor glasses had a tough life, but they served me well. They got ground up by the lie=flat seat on a flight to London, but they survived! (The lenses did not.)

I just loved how they looked on me. They were extremely lightweight, about as invisible as glasses frames can be, and I loved their nod to retro styles. They were, however, no match for the lawnmower, which apparently blasted them to bits. I have not been able to find even the smallest fragment.

Just as well that, in a recent trip to San Francisco, I ordered a new pair of glasses that should be arriving any day now.

  1. So, I just don’t cut this area. It feels too dangerous to me. The yard man who most frequently cuts the grass cuts this area somehow. I need to ask him how or just watch. Anyway…