Consorting with the Magic 8 Ball

In trying to predict our unusually hectic lives these days, we have taken to consorting with the Magic 8 Ball. “Oh omnipotent, benevolent Magic 8 Ball: will our San Francisco condo sell this week?” And the Magic 8 Ball replied “It is decidedly so.” And it was!

But lately the Magic 8 Ball has been perhaps something a little less than accurate, shall we say–even when we beseech it nicely, even reverently.

We event felt the need to consort with the Magic 8 Ball at dinner one night. But, since we didn’t have the Magic 8 Ball with us, I decided to check online. Sure enough! The link to the Oracle itself can be found at Ask8Ball. So, when you need emergency access to the Oracle, you can always check it out at the site. The great and powerful Oracle is omnipresent as well as omniscient!

I love the disclaimer at the website.

“By using this oracle you agree that your [sic] doing so at your own risk. Authors will not be responsible for any choices based on advices [sic] from this oracle. Informations [sic] displayed within this site are not necessarily based on facts. Void where prohibited, taxed, or misconstrued. No children or animals were harmed in the process of construction of this oracle.”

Here is the complete list of responses from the Magic 8 Ball.

Positive Answers

  • It is certain
  • Without a doubt
  • You may rely on it
  • Yes definitely
  • It is decidedly so
  • As I see it, yes
  • Most likely
  • Yes
  • Outlook good
  • Signs point to yes

Neutral Answers 

  • Reply hazy try again
  • Better not tell you now
  • Ask again later
  • Cannot predict now
  • Concentrate and ask again

Negative Answers 

  • Don’t count on it
  • Outlook not so good
  • My sources say no
  • Very doubtful
  • My reply is no