Midlife Crisis?

A few weeks ago we decided to up the value of our masculinity card memberships: we bought a pickup truck. Can you believe it?! Here these liberal, electric-car-loving nerds who have never owned a pickup truck before in our lives go all out gas guzzling yeehaw on you!1

I’ve taken to walking with a bit of a swagger and spitting on the ground too.2

And we didn’t get just any truck. We got a RAM truck. Of course, we had to name it: Bunctious. Get it?3

A few things that stand out to me about the truck now that we’ve had it for a few weeks.

  • The gas mileage is horrific. (We knew this would be the case.)
  • The engine makes a lot of noise. This ups our manliness score and helps us spit further.
  • The garage at the house now smells all manly: the smell of big tires, oil, gasoline, and lubricants. I hadn’t noticed before that our garage was transportation smell-free.
  • I had completely forgotten that stopping at gas stations is a total pain in the ass!
  • Even with the HEMI V8, this vehicle is slow to respond to the accelerator. Electric is very, very responsive.
  • Bunctious is shockingly comfortable. It’s like a luxury car.
  • The truck barely fits in our cavernous garage and makes Smurph4 look like a toy. Bunctious is insanely big; so, parking is a horror show. (We had to get the towing package which excludes the 360º all around bird’s-eye view that makes perfect parking easy.)
  • I’m still amazed at how much will fit in this vehicle both inside and in the truck bed.
  • The truck has at least 7 USB ports, a wireless phone charger, and actually has 2 120v household outlets in it!

We bought Bunctious because we are going to get a 25′ Airstream trailer and begin seeing the west when we move out there now that Steve is also retired. We will use the truck to pull it. We have picked out the model of Airstream we want but have no place to park it in Atlanta; so, we will buy it out west.

Oh, and we have named the RV already: Lollygag.

So, if we start a YouTube channel about our adventures,5 we will call it “The RAMbunctious Lollygag.” Maybe our logo will look something like this?

The RAMbunctious Lollygag logo
Possible logo for The RAMbunctious Lollygag

  1. Now that I think about it, neither of our families ever owned a pickup truck either. 

  2. No, I haven’t. 

  3. RAMbunctious? 

  4. Yes, we chose this spelling. 

  5. isn’t that what everyone is supposed to do?