Swear to God! True Story…

SCOTUSYesterday the SCOTUS affirmed the Affordable Care Act as the law of the land, and the Obama death panels immediately started murdering grandmas in all 50 states!

Today SCOTUS made marriage equality the law of the land, and preachers set themselves on fire, several southern states seceded from the Union (again!), Franklin Graham moved to Canada (only to discover they’ve had marriage equality for years), politicians and religious leaders began zombie chants “judicial tyranny” and “unelected judges” while foaming at the mouth, and California spontaneously combusted!

This really happened! I mean, you can’t make this stuff up!

It’s the end times!