You can come out and play with the big boys again as long as you promise to play nice!
From time to time on my blog I have blathered on about the racism, homophobia, and blatant misogyny found at Bob Jones “University.” But foolish me: You don’t shame religious bigots and hypocrites. They proudly wear the derision of the sane and sensible as an insignia of their being persecuted by the wicked world for their righteousness. You know: that whole Donald Trump school of existence simmering in alternative truth where black is the new white.
You see, number 45 has appointed every racist and religious zealot (Sessions and DeVoss just pop into my mind) he could find to high positions of power, and the lord truly blessed! Right away, even!
Bob Jones University, after a bunch of years in time out (thirty-something, as they say), is now once again a tax-exempt institution. Yesiree. They have officially stopped the racism, for 17 years now! It’s like it never even happened! Well, at least until some interracial couple tries to get married on campus. Religious freedom laws will be in place by then! It’s our god-given right to be assholes.1
And here we all thought they elected number 45 because he was such a hallmark of Christian virtue!
The Bad News
Well, they had to close down the art gallery. I guess attendance was off. People just weren’t lining up to see those old (and I mean really old) musty religious paintings that were so hip to the jive. Some have even speculated those holy relics were purchased at a “really good price” [wink, wink] by Bob Jones, Jr. through an intermediary who got them from the Nazis when they raided the art museums of Europe during WWII. But we all know Bob would never do anything like that, now, would he! Mind you, this is only speculation. Vicious rumor. Not a word of truth to it. No, not a word!
But closing down the art gallery was for the best. Because, well, the school had been required to let the gay in to see the old paintings. With the gay (you know how they love art) spreading their glitter agenda all over the campus, this was just not a good thing.
Good Ole Jerry
If only good ole Jerry Falwell hadn’t left Bob to stand all alone after cranking up the exceptionally lucrative Moral Majority. You know they started the Moral Majority to protect themselves from the big bad goberment that wanted them to all end their segregation schools. But that didn’t sell well with the general public. But hot damn, the whole abortion thing certainly has!
That Jerry dude, now he was a sly one. Some (poor Tammy Faye) might allege he stabbed Jim Baker in the back, cut the feet out from under Bob, took over the whole Southern Baptist Denomination, and then, whoa! He ended up with all of the little boys and girls at his day camp, I mean: school. And even to this day, you just mention “abortion” and all of his Pavlovian tribe dutifully let his mind control extend from the grave to do his bidding.
Why is there no movie?!
But this will of course never happen, what with their excellent Bible-based counseling department that doesn’t even profess to know the laws of the land about rape, sexual assault, and what-not. They will just counsel those misguided interracial desires right out of their little heads. Praise god! ↩