I’m confident that no one could have imagined an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. I mean, we’ve never had such a thing before. The existence of entire ecosystems have never been threatened before. People’s livelihoods have never before been decimated by an oil spill, say: in Alaska. How could anyone have anticipated such a thing?
Besides, we have a Chevron oil refinery right here directly on the Pacific Ocean with giant oil tankers anchored out in the bay all the time. And just look how pristine our bay area is! Why, I only had to spend 3 hours this morning getting some oily tar mass off of the shoes I wore last week as I walked along the surf crashing along the shell-free beaches.
The photo above was taken after spending about an hour scraping the oily tar gunk off using a knife. Then I went to Home Depot and purchased some toxic chemicals designed to vaporize all living things. After another couple of hours scrubbing the shoes, 5 plastic gloves, 2 sponges, and countless paper towels, the shoes are mostly clean. (The rubber soles will probably be eaten off during the night by the residual chemicals.) Pictured below is the sink after the cleaning was completed.
Yes indeed, “Drill baby, drill!” Sarah is just so smart. And unfettered capitalism is just so good. I’m just feeling so patriotic today. Praise the lord!
- Breaking: “Drill, baby drill” Crowd Joins BP Oil Spill Clean Up (yesbutnobutyes.com)
- Offshore Drilling Postponed (pinkbananaworld.com)
- Gulf Coast Oil Spill Likely Worse Than Exxon Valdez (alan.com)
- Obama to visit scene of Gulf oil spill (news.cnet.com)
- Expert: Area of Gulf Oil Spill Has Tripled (dailyfinance.com)
- Chevron Profit Doubles, Beating Expectations (nytimes.com)